It's been a while...

Okay so, I've been hounded to write this scene to add into 'Adorable Disaster'. I wrote it on its own and hope to add it in the story where it best fits. The scene is thus far unedited but I think it's pretty decent. Let's find out how the voice fits in to the story...



The directions Laura handed me on a crumbled up napkin read “L, R, R, L, R, L, R, R, L,” etc.
“Now navigate Dildo,” Laura commanded.
We were in West Chester, Pennsylvania. Laura was away from Downingtown for a month taking summer classes at West Chester University with her friend. West Chester was about a twenty-minute drive from Downingtown so I made a few trips down there to see her when I had time off work. Our first adventure entailed several two-liter bottles of Diet Coke, a case of Mento's, and some stolen milk crates from an elementary school. I'll leave it at that.
We were bored driving around West Chester, so I told Laura to write down the letters L and R in random succession until she felt like stopping. She quickly figured out why I wanted her to do this and got to work.
We picked a random side road on High Street and I began following her directions.
“This is gonna be sweet, I have no idea where the hell we're gonna end up,” Laura laughed excitedly.
“Yeah I know. I'm almost looking forward to ending up in Wisconsin or something.”
We drove around following the directions for ten or fifteen turns before realizing we weren't getting as far as I thought. West Chester is filled with lots of one-way side streets, and dead-ends, so we pretty much just kept making our way up and down the road like a real-life version of PAC-man.
“I know what we should do,” Laura squeeled, “let's play P-Diddle.”
P-Diddle is a game wherein the players drive around a random area looking for cars, trucks, vans, or bikes with missing lights on the vehicle. The front head-lights, and brake lights on cars were the most common suspects, but guiding lights and rear-view mirror lights on trucks and vans were also fair game. I think I once asked her why it was called p-diddle and was greeted with a snappy response stating something along the lines of "don't ask stupid questions, dildo."
“God you're always pitching that idea,” I groaned.
“Oh come on, you never want to play,” she giggled.
The reason I was so skeptical is because of a minor stipulation in Laura's rules. When someone spots a blown light, the have to yell “P-Diddle,” and raise their hand to touch the top of the car before the other. Sounds harmless, but in Laura's version every time someone scores a point, the other has to remove one article of clothing. I was comfortable around Laura, just confused that I struck-out on my kiss attempt and now had an opportunity to remove as many pieces of clothing from her as I possibly could without having to go through the awkward stage of trying to do it myself.
“Okay, I'm in.”
“Bitchin'. P-Diddle, by the way,” Laura threw her hand to the felt ceiling of my car before I had even settled myself for the game. I glanced over to find her laughing hysterically as she pointed to the car on a side-street next to us which was parked, and had a brake light out. I took off my hoodie. We started moving down whichever street we were on by this point, still following the directions.
“P-Diddle!” Laura's hand thrust towards the top of the car for her second point.
“Take off that shirt, skinny boy,” Laura laughed at me. I took off my shirt. I soon found out that Laura was extremely good at this game. It took me, on the other hand, a while to get my feet wet. We were driving down a miscellaneous shopping district on the outskirts of West-Chester. I noticed Laura was temporarily incapacitated as she browsed the stores and window-shopped from the car. The area was very brightly lit and was swimming with pedestrian activity. Laura was too distracted to notice the Honda directly ahead of us with a headlight out.
“P-Diddle!” I thrust my hand upwards for my first point. “Take your top off, bitch!”
“Fuck you, dildo,” Laura scoffed at me as she took off her shirt, leaving her in a star-spangled tank-top.
“I used to play this with one of my good friends in high-school all the time. I once got him completely naked as we drove around town. His girlfriend wasn't too pleased about that, I guess. I didn't care, I thought it was funny as hell. P-Diddle, by the way.” I took off my belt.
I drove around West-Chester with no shirt on for what seemed like hours with Laura. We ditched the directions, when we became more infatuated with getting each other as naked as possible, as quickly as possible.
“P-Diddle!” I took off my shoes.
I was able to score a few more points throughout the course of the night, but not before Laura had stripped me all the way down to my boxers. She was one-point away from victory and started feeling pity on me. I had gotten her down to her bra and jeans which was rewarding in itself for me, but I think she still wanted to toy with me. My low-gas light came on, and I leaned over the back seat in search of my jeans as I pulled into a near by gas station.
“What are you doing, dildo?”
“I have to get gas. I'm not going out there in my boxers.”
“Oh yes, you are! The game isn't over yet.”
“Seriously? Cut me some slack. It's my first time. At least let me put my jeans on.”
“Fine.”
I got a few strange looks as I pumped gas with no shirt on but I paid with my ATM card right at the machine so at least I didn't have to go inside. I topped off the tank and stepped back into the car.
“Lose the pants,” Laura commanded.
“This is gonna look really bad if I get pulled over in my underwear.”
“I know! I can't wait.” As usual she was laughing uncontrollably.
“Alright dildo, I have class in the morning so I gotta get some sleep pretty soon. Start making your way back and we'll see who wins when we get to the University.” I didn't realize that it was 2 a.m. I started making my way back along High Street when I heard Laura start coughing. I looked over to find her nudging her head in the direction of a truck with a rear-light out.
“Ross, if you don't get it I'm going to,” she winked at me. I didn't like the idea of a handout, but hey it would get her pants off.
“P-Diddle!” Laura took off her pants, leaving her in her bra and panties.
“Scandalous,” I purred at her.
“Shut up and drive.”
I continued to drive until the University was in sight. I was just pulling up at the curb when Laura yelled it, “P-Diddle!”
“No way, that doesn't count. We're already here. I glanced over at a jeep with a headlight out across the street.”
“Oh, yes it does! Take em off,” she laughed. She had left me at a difficult crossroads. I was forced to decide between manhood and the removal of my boxers, and teenage anxiety and a nervous approach.
“Not doing it, that's cheating. We're already here.”
Laura threw on her jeans and tank top and stepped out of the car. She leaned in the open window and winked at me.
“Next time, I'm taking them off.” She blew me a kiss and made her way up the path to her room. I could hear her laughing the whole way.